Some say that spending every moment together kills the romance. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Not for us.
Mike’s never been a flowers-and-chocolate kinda guy, and he’s still not. Instead, he’s a subtle sweet talker. He woos me with simple words that show his love more than a pretty bauble ever could. Constant togetherness equals more wooing. It means every day can be Valentine’s Day.
words by mike daniels | photo by elisabeth daniels | photo editing by picmonkey
Hi, Everyone! Today I’m guest posting over at God Life Happy Wife for the CELEBRATE LOVE series. Just in time for Valentine’s Day (which also happens to be Mike’s birthday!), I’m sharing my love story. I talk about how giving it all up to move into an RV with Mike got me more than I’d ever dreamed. It hasn’t always been easy, so I offer some tips on making our relationship work in such close quarters.
Seven months ago, I did something crazy. I gave up my high-paying job, my house and the community I’d lived in for 12 years to move into a 300-square-foot RV with my husband, two dogs and a cat. Permanently.
Mike has been traveling nearly every week for his business as a technical trainer since we began dating. Before the motorhome, he was gone during the week, back on the weekends, while I worked at my day job, took care of the household, and did freelance writing and taught painting classes on the side. The lifestyle got old, so we decided to buy an RV and travel as a family to Mike’s gigs.
It sounds romantic: two lovebirds and their fur babies traveling the country, working side-by-side during the day and walking hand-in-hand at night. Despite that rosy image, it wasn’t easy for me to make the leap. Part of me felt like I was giving it all up. Giving up everything I’d worked for, my friends, my beloved community.
Would it be worth it? Would Mike and I survive being together all the time when we’d hardly spent more than a week together for our entire relationship? And doing it all in a hallway on wheels??
The whole fam on a rainy morning at Riverview Campground in Waco, Texas, on our six-month anniversary of full-time RVing
Today is our six-month anniversary of full-timing. Woohoo! We bought the rig on May 21st, spent several VERY hot weeks clearing out our rental home and rehabbing the rig, and ultimately left Vegas on July 8th. It’s been a quite an adventure ever since.
Mike’s business as a technical trainer was already going well before we left Vegas. The constant travel involved was what prompted us to hit the road in the RV in the first place. Transitioning to the RV lifestyle has opened up other work opportunities for him. This summer, during his normally slow period, he had the chance to work as a mechanic on Harley-Davidson’s demo fleet. And now there’s a brand new, very exciting gig he’ll be doing for Harley, starting in a couple of weeks. Those two opportunities would not have happened if we hadn’t been mobile. And there’s the prospect of more cool stuff on the horizon.
I gave up my job as Deputy Administrator for the State of Nevada’s Housing Division to do freelance work on the road. It’s been hard for me emotionally to shift from my identity as an accomplished professional. Although this change is allowing me to nurture a creative career, it’s been discouraging to make a quarter of what I made before.
Freelancing is fickle and challenging, as I’m learning firsthand. I’ve been sussing out my niche, and I think I’m on to something with Coffice Girl. I frequently work in coffee shops and teahouses that offer free Wi-Fi, and I’ve started to profile those workspaces that I call “coffices” (cafe + office = coffice). Over the next year, I will continue to develop Coffice Girl into my brand – focusing on my freelance writing, social media and illustration and celebrating the freelance lifestyle as well as small, local coffee and tea shops. I am lucky in that I have consistent paying work (social media posting and strategy, writing, web design, virtual book marketing) and have had interesting, unexpected gigs (like working Harley’s 110th) come my way. And, if we lived at Main Street Station (or someplace equally as cheap), I could even cover my own living expenses without Mike’s salary. Still, staying positive about my new career is sometimes a struggle.
When we got back to Vegas, after 5 1/2 months away, my friend Kimberly asked me, over dinner, if I’d been lonely. I thought about it for a moment and realized that I had not been lonely, which struck me as odd initially. I think, though, that it was because we’d seen so many people on our travels up to that point. We saw all three of Mike’s daughters within a couple of months. While we were on the east coast, we saw my mum and dad and their significant others, and I saw a girlfriend I hadn’t seen for seven years. We saw my aunt and uncle while we were in North Carolina. In Viriginia Beach, Mike was reunited with a cousin he hadn’t seen for over 20 years. Mike’s brothers visited us in DC a few months after we left Vegas. Then, we were back in Vegas to see all of our friends for Christmas. I Skyped with one girlfriend a couple of times and kept up with everyone else through Facebook, e-mail, text messages and phone calls, which helped me feel connected.
Returning to Vegas and then leaving again was heartbreaking. Being back in the nice weather, getting to see all the people I love and love to laugh with, seeing how my cherished city is blossoming was so wonderful, and I just wanted to stay. Even Mike, who hadn’t been missing home as much as me during our first six months, felt it. He has especially missed his North Las Vegas airport community and being able to fly regularly.
Milwaukee is as close as we come to a home base, since Mike teaches there one week a month from October through March, and thankfully, we have great friends there. So, there is a community for us in Milwaukee, especially for Mike because he’s been working there for several years.
One benefit we anticipated from moving into the RV was that Mike would get healthier. In some ways, he has, and in some ways, he hasn’t. The RV lifestyle is more physical than sticks-and-bricks living, so Mike’s moving more than he was. But, he’s not eating as healthfully as we’d hoped for two reasons: 1) the tendency to nosh while driving and 2) eating out more than cooking in.
I am in my 12th year of a lifestyle change in which I lost over 100 pounds. One of my biggest fears, going on the road, was that boredom and depression over leaving my friends and work would lead to overeating. I am about 20 pounds heavier than I want to be right now, but I am maintaining my weight, just like I had been in Vegas over the last couple of years. With the bad weather we’ve encountered on the road, I’ve had to change up my exercise routine. I’ve found great workouts I can easily do in the rig (JessicaSmithTV.com), and I exercise about six days a week. Mike bought me a FitBit Flex for Christmas, so I’m back to logging my food intake, as I did in the beginning. Controlling my eating will always be difficult for me, but at least it hasn’t been made worse by RVing.
I am an avid obstacle racer, and traveling has both helped and hindered that. It’s been hard to have a consistent OCR schedule because we’re not in one place. Conversely, I’ve had the chance to do races in differenct locales that I normally never would. It’s been easier to find running races at the last minute, so I’ve done more of those than obstacle events. Mike has started coming along so that we “wog” (walk-jog) them together!
We figured that Mike’s salary and the money he previously spent on airfare, rental cars and hotels would more than cover our living in the RV. We figured right.
I used my retirement money from the State to pay for the rig in full, so we have no mortgage or rig payment. We have no other debt, and we saved as much as we could before we hit the road to cover emergencies and lean times in Mike’s work. We’ve had a few things go wrong mechanically like the air conditioner’s compressor seizing and snapping the fan belt and water issues, but with Mike’s ingenuity, we’ve kept moving without too much of a hit to our savings. So far, it’s all worked out beautifully. We have money to cover our expenses and still have funds left over for dinners out and entertainment.
Our focus now is building our retirement fund and figuring out our insurance through Obamacare.
Another challenge has been reducing our Internet costs. We currently spend $450 a month for two smart phones and 40GB of data. About $200 of that is the data that we use for Netflix and Amazon as well as web. We are continuing to investigate options to bring that cost down. Thankfully, we can afford it right now, but we’d like to be as lean as possible going forward.
Traveling with two dogs and a 23-year-old cat has been, um, interesting.
Charlie, our cat, is marvelously adaptable, and it’s a delight to see him stretched out on the dash, soaking up the sun as we motor down the highway. However, dealing with his litter has been a nightmare. With almost no carpet and only 300 square feet of space, the crystals get EVERYWHERE. I’m continuously appalled by where it turns up! I simply can’t vacuum or wipe or sweep enough! And, to put it bluntly, his stinky poops overwhelm the senses in such a small environment. When Charlie moves on to the great cathouse in the sky, we will not get another cat.
The biggest issue we have with Meeko and Sadie, our Rat Terrier and Boston Terrier, is the lack of a doggie door. In our house in Vegas, we had a doggie door and an enclosed back yard. So, the bark babies could dash outside to potty or sunbathe whenever they wanted to – whether we were there or not. Now, one of us has to be up between 6 and 6:30 in the morning to take them out to do their business. And someone has to take them out around 10 at night for their last potty of the day. In the nice weather, it’s not that big a deal, but when it’s 5 degrees out, windy and snowing in Milwaukee, it kinda sucks.
Living in 300 square feet hasn’t bothered us. Ironically, that’s almost been the easiest thing to deal with! We downsized a ton before we moved into the rig, and we’ve downsized even more along the way. We’ve learned the most effective organizing techniques for our stuff. Some things we thought would work (like silicone baking pans) haven’t, and some ideas have worked exactly as we expected. We have a general policy that if something comes in, something else goes out. Keeping the rooms tidy and putting items away is fairly easy – once you’ve figured out where and how to put ’em away. And, it feels spacious when our one living room slide is out.
Decorating has been harder than anything because of the movement and things not sticking to the textured walls.
Other than that, we don’t feel cramped in our hallway on wheels, and it’s starting to feel like home – with reflections of us and what we love scattered about.
Overall, our first six months on the road have been extraordinarily wonderful. We’ve gotten to spend every day together, a first in our seven-year relationship. Sharing all the triumphs, the hardships and the ordinary moments has strengthened us as a couple and brought us even closer than we were before – which hard to believe since we’ve been super close from the beginning! We’ve already seen so much of this amazing country, and we’ve done all kinds of fabulous stuff like ziplining, flying in small planes to historic places, ropes courses, shooting competitions, paddle boating, cooking classes, scenic bicycling, and much more. We’ve visited far-flung family and friends. We’ve explored new communities and checked out the fun and funky small businesses that give those communities their unique flavor.
When we started, we committed to a year. I’m excited to see what the next six months brings.
In an RV, it’s important to know how to handle those pesky backseat drivers.
Our Boston Terrier Sadie (also known as the Pupkin, Crumb Cake, and Goose) loves to snuggled next to me in the passenger seat as we motor down the road in the rig.
She’s the co-pilot’s co-pilot!
While we were back in Vegas, we returned to a cherished tradition: a weekend hike in Red Rock with friends and the bark babies. Sheryl is a fellow writer. She’s full of sass and sarcasm and funny as heck.
She’s also a dog lover, mama of a cream-colored girl named Akasha. Sheryl helped us find our little man Meeko at the adoption center after a hike last spring. She drove him home for us. On this warm, clear Sunday, the dogs roamed free while we got caught up, periodically stopping to admire the stunning backdrop we’d been away from for so long.
Christmas morning • outside the Downtown Grand • @Downtown3rd #Vegas • looking at the bar where Mike and I met
The beauty of staying at Main Street Station’s RV Park in Vegas is its proximity to the newly revamped downtown. After a relaxing brunch on Christmas morning, we wandered around a bit, checking out the new development and snapping pics. A perfect way to start the holiday!
“I thought this was one of those crazy mud things you’re always doing,” Mike said as I was picking up my bib from the tent near the river. We were in Boston on a drizzly Sunday morning so I could do the Boston River Run along the Charles.
“If I’d known it was a regular run, I might have done it with you.”
I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing tight and grinning up at him as I said, “You still can! They have on-site registration!”
He sighed knowing he was beat and let me drag him over to the next table so he could sign up.
And that’s how we ended up wogging (walk-jogging) our first New England 5K together. We walked most of it, sprinting for the photo opps and the finish line. We held hands and laughed and took delightful detours – discovering graffiti aliens and wrecked crew boats – because we were too wrapped up in the moment to keep track of the other runners. It wasn’t my fastest 5K, but it was definitely one of my best.
Tiny little drops of red on the white tile. We thought he was eating something he shouldn’t until we saw the blood. Meeko was licking his paw, trying to soothe a torn dewclaw that was hanging precariously off his foot.
Some quick Googling and a short phone call revealed that Stowe Veterinary Clinic was close by and open. We followed a hunched elderly woman with pink sneakers – and her equally elderly sausage dog – into the building. She told the receptionist that her husband didn’t like her to be out after dark. The receptionist assured her that Fido would be ready for pick-up well before sundown. We were next after Grandma Pink Sneakers, and Dr. Goodson took us into an exam room within minutes. It had to be some kind of speed record because we’d never been seen that fast in Vegas or in Milwaukee where the last pet emergency had occurred.
It also turned out to be the cheapest vet visit ever. Pulling Meeko’s bad claw, applying ointment and a bandage, and giving us a rainbow-striped leash and excellent advice about how to handle Meeko’s situational aggressiveness set us back a mere $47. Part of it was that Meeko was thoughtful enough to hurt himself on a weekday. Charlie’s raging ear infection, as evidenced by him repeatedly stumbling and restlessly roaming the RV while yowling continuously, came to a head on a Sunday. So we had emergency fees to pay along with extensive testing (could the oddly dilated pupils be a brain tumor?) and antibiotics. Several hundred dollars later, Charlie was a new cat, and our bank account was wiped out.
No vet visit is complete without recovery treats. We found some at the Cabot Annex Store in Waterbury. Strange – considering it’s a cheese place, and these nibbles were entirely fromage-free. They were just too cute to pass up, and of course, we had to get one for Sadie, too. While Meeko was the patient, Sadie was suffering at home, worrying for her brother. Or, at least, that’s what we told ourselves. Treats were given out, heads were patted, bark babies were cooed over, and all was well with the world after our first visit to a country vet.
Note: We all know that an emergency fund for rig issues is important. But if you have pets, it’s a good idea to set aside some extra money for emergencies for them, too. Pet insurance may also be a good option, although I don’t know if it’s accepted everywhere and in every circumstance.
We’re famous!
Well, not really. 
But we are very honored that we got to tell our story to Bobby & Sue of the Living the RV Life podcast and share it with all of their listeners.
It was such a treat, chatting with them about their plans to head out on the road, dishing on our experiences over the first four months of our motorhoming escapade. Thanks, Bobby & Sue!
You can listen here: http://livingthervlife.com/interview-with-adventures-in-a-hallway/
And be sure to subscribe to their podcast to get all the latest info about living the RV life.
Adventures in a Hallway 